“Wherever we choose to go, perhaps the underlying wish is simply for me to get away from me…the greatest holiday of all is one where we can float free from the tyranny of being conscious…”
Moving to Vietnam has been exciting and challenging. We knew it would be like this. What we didn’t know was what would happen when the “honeymoon period” ended and the rose colored glasses fell off.
This is natural when you move somewhere and you’re excited about it. We were naive and believed that life would be better once we moved. In truth, we believed Vietnam would be an escape from ourselves.
Surprise surprise, we have not miraculously found the secret to living at peace with ourselves. We have not entered the part of the movie where the characters just “do life” easily without any complications. We have simply moved ourselves from one geographical location to the next, changing our context and environment, but not what lies within.
So now that moving across the world has not made us perfect people, what do we do?
We keep on livin’, as Matthew McConaughey would say. And that can be tough here… There’s a million things that get on our nerves.
Traffic, construction, potholes; like living in an ever-changing maze
Driving goes from pleasant to death-defying in a heartbeat, many times per journey
The grocery store sometimes has no potatoes
Work is difficult… or impossible to find
And on top of all that…we have to maintain a healthy marriage, encourage rich interpersonal lives, make that cash money, and find room to have fun. It’s a lot.
All this goings-on means we come back to some very basic questions and doubts.
What are we here for?
Was it a mistake to move?
Is there anything we can do for our community?
Should we just pack it up and leave as soon as we can?
We’re not alone in this. A number of our western friends say they look at tickets home when things get tough.
And yet others, some truly iron-spined people, have been here for years.
Looking at these individuals, there’s a common theme. They’ve built a community around themselves, and not just an all-western community. They’ve created successful businesses that employ Vietnamese people, helping them earn good wages and learn English. They’ve found work and life that is meaningful to them.
Originally, this post was going to be FULL of cynicism and critique for the way of life in Vietnam, from the things that are simple to resolve to the unfixable. To that we can say one thing: we’re not here to lengthen our list of gripes and burdens to carry with us wherever we go.
We’re here to build a life and relationships that strengthen our faith in humanity and in ourselves. The problems we’ve brought with us and the problems that exist in the world may never change, but what can change, and must change, is how we behave in relation to those issues. Cynicism and bitterness is the easy choice. The much harder one, the one that’s a moving target is this:
We’re here to find what is meaningful and beautiful.
That’s our tall order of a hope, anyway.
Whether it’s here in Vietnam, or somewhere like Sardinia (because they have grants for people to move there and it’s tempting), we don’t know.
We’re not planning to flee from Vietnam so easily. We’re learning to experience this place and people with a different perspective and renewed patience. It’s a launchpad for the beautiful future we’re going to create.
We know we’re going to miss our target, take wrong turns, and wonder how we got there. But that’s part of the deal, isn’t it? If we want adventurous and interesting lives, we’ve got to get out there and live them.
No matter what, we’re grateful for these first unsteady steps.
And now, some pictures and recent adventures…
Zach went to Cát Bà Island & also Pù Luông with his new part-time job as a school travel guide (like a camp counselor). He’s been seeing Vietnam (and getting paid for it), spending time playing games and keeping the youths from breaking limbs and the like.
Cat Ba & Pu Luong
Steph did a school “team building” trip that was fun…many of her coworkers got #whitegurlwasted.
Pictures of Steph's big work event
And also, apartment hunting. Stay tuned for pictures and updates of our new place!
We decided to move to save some money and to try out a new location, here:
Where we are, and where we're moving.
Thank you for reading! Here’s this month’s questions:
🌄 Did you know what kind of life you wanted and then built toward it?
🧐 Or did you discover it as you went along?
🎙️ Did you enjoy listening to the reading? Should we read more of our posts?
As always thank you for the insights, experiences and challenges you have faced and are facing. Sounds a lot like “living life”.
Looking back on my 5+ decades I would say I had loose directions and rolled with the changes that were encountered. We bounced around the US for a few years chasing opportunities and yearning for a family, then family all arrived at once, and we navigated that- with untold trials and unexpected turns, but kept the focus on being a family. Jobs come and go, houses come and go, even friends often come and go. But learning what I can control (very little) what I can influence (a little more) and what I get to participate in and observe (most of the time) has been huge. And confusing any of those aspects is where the greatest frustration and pain come from.
Daily I encounter opportunities for all three and in days I choose well, I generally have excellent days. But I can sure create hardship and pain when I confuse my role. That has been hardest lesson for sure, and still is. My hope is to do better daily, monthly and yearly in this and be less demanding on anyone in my sphere.
Enough of me. Your adventure sounds almost perfect. A blend of challenges- big and small- and the required changes to not only survive them, but to learn to thrive. Lee up the good efforts and enjoy the daily blessings!!!
As always thank you for the insights, experiences and challenges you have faced and are facing. Sounds a lot like “living life”.
Looking back on my 5+ decades I would say I had loose directions and rolled with the changes that were encountered. We bounced around the US for a few years chasing opportunities and yearning for a family, then family all arrived at once, and we navigated that- with untold trials and unexpected turns, but kept the focus on being a family. Jobs come and go, houses come and go, even friends often come and go. But learning what I can control (very little) what I can influence (a little more) and what I get to participate in and observe (most of the time) has been huge. And confusing any of those aspects is where the greatest frustration and pain come from.
Daily I encounter opportunities for all three and in days I choose well, I generally have excellent days. But I can sure create hardship and pain when I confuse my role. That has been hardest lesson for sure, and still is. My hope is to do better daily, monthly and yearly in this and be less demanding on anyone in my sphere.
Enough of me. Your adventure sounds almost perfect. A blend of challenges- big and small- and the required changes to not only survive them, but to learn to thrive. Lee up the good efforts and enjoy the daily blessings!!!
Merry Christmas my friend.
enjoyed listening to this Zachary, will certainly listen to more.